So overwhelmed

 I'm going to take a minute to bitch!

It so challenging to get everything I need to get done so I can take leave starting next week for all this torture.

So first this morning I fasted so I could get my blood drawn for my pre-op tests. I went to the NorthShore office at 7:00 where I usually get it done in Deerfield, and there's a sign on the door "Laboratory closed today" -So I am fasting, no coffee, and have a really bad headache starting. I drive over to HP Hospital- they have a lab, right? But their Ootpatient lab is appointment only and the first available is 10:45-WTF ? I have never heard of appointment only blood draw- no one told me this- So I drive to Vernon Hills NS office, they are ALSO appointment only, (by this time a raging headache) thankfully they can give me an 8:15 time (by this time it's 7:45). So I sit and wait and it finally gets done. The silver lining is the lab tech did a really good job, got the vein on the first try and no bruise (yay!)

So on to work, trying to wrap up all the needed tasks and go on short term leave. To go on leave, they send me like 6 forms that are crazy long and I have to go to another site and start an account and they're going to turn off my email while I'm gone... I honestly don't know if it's worth it since I don't think I'll be out that long - maybe 2 weeks. Anyway I'm just not going to deal with this today. 

Thankfully I have no appointments or meetings tomorrow or Friday so I can just take it a bit easy. Debating scheduling a massage for Monday, the day before all the madness starts. 

May even roast a turkey this weekend/next week so we have lots of leftovers. I definitely want to make some chicken soup with matzo balls, and even though i'd like to go to services Friday night, I don't think I want to expose myself to that many people, even masked. 

I honestly can't wait for this to be over, but I am really terrified of the surgery. 

MRI results

 The breast MRI results were about as good as I could hope for. The breast cancer surgeon was very happy with them. I'm glad we decided to get them just to have some confirmation.

1. There is no cancer seen in the good breast
2. There are no obvious lymph nodes seen 
3. The only thing seen is the already-identified tumor

The only small negative is the tumor is a bit larger on MRI than on Mammogram/US. My doctor said this is very common, because the MRI gives a clearer picture. 

Instead of 0.9 cm, the tumor appears to be 2.1 cm. This is still pretty small (less than an inch).

So we move forward- surgery on March 6

Still to do: 

1. blood draw (probably tomorrow AM)
2. placement of a radioactive bead (day before surgery)
3. dye injection in bad breast (day or two before surgery)

Oh and I have a tooth that might need a root canal!

Fun times

Waiting is the worst

 No news on the health front,  I am hoping for the results of the breast MRI tomorrow. I also had my blood drawn for genetic testing, and we're hoping for those results to get back before surgery. (Thanks to the phlebotomist I have an ugly bruise)

I had a decent day yesterday doing something I like - cooking!

I baked the coconut bread recipe from Smitten Kitchen (think banana bread but coconut.) It turned out great, and I added some sanding sugar to the top for crunch. If I did it again, I think I'd also add some golden raisins for tart-ness. 

For dinner, I made a pot roast with North African spices, and despite the substitution of cardamom for coriander it turned out really nice- very comforting and I blitzed up some of the veg to make the sauce thicker. Served it with tiny potatoes, and we really liked it- There's enough for another dinner - maybe tomorrow.

Other plans today include a manicure, and maybe a walk somewhere pretty. 

Also toying with the idea of a deli lunch. 

I need to do more cooking and freezing over the next week so there will be something decent to eat when I'm healing. 

Planning for Surgery -2/22/24

So today I had an MRI of my breasts- one of the weirdest things ever.

I also had an appointment with the plastic surgeon.

My surgery has been scheduled for March 6, 2024.

They are planning on doing a "larger" lumpectomy on the bad breast. This type of cancer tends to grow in lines and tendrils like a spider, not in a hard lump. The plastic surgeon will then do a reduction on the good breast and make it match the bad breast as much as possible.

After 4-8 weeks of healing, I will need to have a month-long course of radiation. (and like 5 years of estrogen blocking pills)

If all my lymph nodes are negative, and my margins are clear, that will be it.

If the lymph nodes are positive, I may need chemo, but I'm praying for negative nodes.

This is so much to take in - trying to take it all one day at a time, but the whole thing really sucks and I'm so sad.

Diagnosis - Cancer :(

On Feb 16, 2024, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

 

My Mom was 47 in 1979 when she got breast cancer. I am 65, and when I made it to 50, 55, I really thought/hoped I had dodged that bullet, but I guess it wasn't in my stars. 

I have a small pea-sized tumor in my right breast. It is invasive lobular carcinoma, grade 1. ER pos, PR pos, HER2 neg. I am glad it isn't triple-negative because that has a worse prognosis. Depending on the stage (which I won't know until after surgery) the survival rate is usually 90% or better.

I'm just really discouraged about everything I will have to go through to get there. Dreading surgery, and praying praying for negative lymph nodes. 

It's also hard news to think about sharing as some of my relatives and friends have recently lost loved ones to cancer. 

Please keep me in your prayers.